The epic battle inside

We all know those movies, most of them based on some end-of-world fantasy or sci-fi scenario. I probably need not to name them, but just for the remembrance I throw in “Lord of the Rings” or “Matrix”. They are thrilling their viewers with a story which holds a gigantic fight for the survival of the good at its end, always providing a last second turnaround – usually in favor of the forces of the light, the good guys.

Now inside ones mind there are also constant battles going on. More often than we might think, but we rarely take note. While sometimes they happen to be just a difficult choice between given options, turning the momentum of the fight all the way until a decision falls, based on pros and cons. These are often the small confrontations, just demanding some rationality from you to choose their winners. Decisions that really influence the feeling of your life are hardly ever based on rational thoughts. They are not the epic battles inside you, but rather only skirmish with a bit of collateral damage here and there.

You will feel it, when a decisive fight is up to begin. There is no escape, because for once, you are not a puppet master playing with the outcome as you wish, picking some answer based on simple minded calculations. Still, you are the key to the victory, a warring commander and fickle traitor to both parties. The power of reason will drive you to lead an army of conclusions onto the battleground, and just a second later you could be the the spearhead of a legion of emotions, battling for the forces of your heart.

Unlike the choice of the ice-cream flavor you’d like to have now, this is not going to be something cast up in a few moments. It might take days, weeks, months, even years until the winning fraction will finally erect their banner on the fields of pain and glory.  All the barbary, the constant slaughter, your own back and forth as a changeling of fate will be exhausting and sometimes leave you twisted and despaired, not knowing whom to crush the next blow upon. Yet in the end the final strike is yours, and it will always have impact on your life.

If reason prevails, your decision will be taken responsibly, foreseeing, carefully. You’ll stick to the safe side, trying to be least harmful, leaving out most of the risk. You could win some, but also fail just a bit and get some scratches. Else, if after the rage has ended, the red banner of hearts is held high and waves in triumph, your feelings will tell you what to do next. Your next step will be an unforeseen one, irrational, risky. You long for much more to gain than with a decision based on conclusion. So there is also far more to lose and deep scars to receive.

Take your time and examine the surface of your soul. How many epic battles were held there already? Who were the victors? What did you win, what did you lose? Will you be prepared for the next confrontation of intellect and heart?